Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Batman needs to man up!

I think that Batman is perhaps one of the most whiny "super"heroes ever. His parents died.... boo-hoo. I'm not saying that such an incident isn't traumatic, but it happened when he was a ten-year-old. I think that maybe it's time to get over it already. I'm sure there are plenty of ten-year-olds that have seen their parents shot that are way over it by the time they're 40; but not this wiener over here. I mean, its not like he had nobody to raise him. His butler Alfred seems like a pretty cool guy, not to mention the BILLIONS of dollars at his fingertips. Maybe he should have invested some of that cash in therapy, instead of lame-ass karate lessons and that dumb looking costume (which, by the way, is made of spandex....SPANDEX! I know if I was going  after crooks that are armed to the teeth with nothing but jujitsu to defend myself with because I have this pussy aversion to taking a life, I'd sure as shit make my costume bullet-proof....dumb-ass.....but, I digress...) Batman doesn't even have super powers. For what it's worth, you or I could be Batman, as long as we had the money he has and all the time in the world to dick around with. Even his enemies are lame: a clown, a fat short guy with a big nose and a guy who melts......I'm terrified. Man up, Batman, get over mommy and daddy and donate some of that cash to the cops, you know, the ones who actually have the legal authority to go around beating on crooks? Yeah, those guys.
(nice bitch-slap there, champ. Superman would have melted that fanboy's head with his laser-eyes)


  1. Well said. Maybe his river of tears could be his super power. He immediately depresses his enemies.

  2. So he has a sensitive side... Wonder Woman thinks it's SEXXXYYYY!!!!!

  3. but that said, i love that comic book frame of batman smacking robin. Had me rolling.